I asked Stacy what she would like me to share with you and she posed two very good questions. What would I want to pass along to my children and if I had the chance what would I tell my past self? Both of these questions I have asked myself many many times. And the thing that rings most true to me is to love myself for who I am and not what the world wants me to be. Be my own kind of beautiful.
Getting married at a very young age, left me unable to really gain an understanding to who I was as a person. I took others advice and examples instead of learning for myself. I did as they did. Got married, had kids, fill in the basic blanks. All the while never deciding exactly the kind of person I wanted to be or the life I wanted to live. I lived for others, not for me.
After my divorce, that gave me the time and strength to become the person I am today. I chose my own path. I want my children to have that same opportunity. I will instruct and give them as many life tools as possible, but in the end, I want them to stay true to their own heart and dreams. As a very young girl, my grandfather always told me, "Vanessa, it's a big world out there." This has always stuck with me. And I truly live by that now. I am not fearful to go out and live outside the norm. I love to travel, try new and exciting things. Fear is a funny thing. It can hold us back in so many ways. But once you decide that no matter what, you are are in charge of your own life...that fear seems to disappear.
For my children, I want them to see beyond what is in front of them. Live a life of fulfillment. I want them to be kind humans and seek out new adventures. I want them to be comfortable in their own skin and not just follow what others do. Stand on their own two feet and follow the standards they have set. Learn that living outside the box will give them a greater appreciation for themselves and life. That whatever they set their minds to, they will accomplish if they stay true to their passions and are honest with themselves. To live doing right by others and being compassionate. And most of all, to truly love themselves.
For my past self...I would tell her that no matter what, loving who she is is the most important thing she can give herself. That when you can finally love you, the rest of your life falls into place. To not take things so seriously. And realize that through trials her greatest accomplishments were made. I would tell her that crying in the shower was okay, failing was going to happen, but in those times she will become stronger and braver. I would want her to understand that love is and can be special with the right person. That believing in something and seeing it through is true character. That gaining patience for herself and others will give her more compassion. And most of all that at the end of the day, life always works it self out..so be patient.
I think the best thing I ever did for myself was learn to listen to me. We all have a beautiful inner voice, if we just clear the noise and listen. Listening is such a great tool if we learn to use it. Our souls never steer us wrong, and it always pushes us through the hard times. Once I started to listen...I achieved things I never thought I could do. I made it being a single mom, I ran a 5k and 10k, I lived my passions, I tried hard and scary things, I loved life, and I met the man of my dreams and now have the family I always wanted. Your attitude is everything. It literally can make or break you.
"a beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. when you wake up, take a second to think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. the moment we start acting like life is a blessing I assure you it will start to feel like one."
If I could sit down with each of you, hear your stories, and ask you these same two questions. What would you say? Are you on the path you need to be on and gaining the tools to get there? Or are you sitting ideally by?
A friend once told me, Look at life as a story, a novel you are writing. Everything you go through, every event is part of your own biography. You will have many chapters, some small, some big. But every chapter has a purpose and a meaning. Your story could not be told without them. Be present in the chapter you are in. Embrace the past for what it was, and look to the future to guide your path. Be proud of your story. And be happy with the words you write today.
I often think of that, my story, my chapters. In the end what do you want to leave the world with? I hope my stamp on this world is that full of love and hope. That even though I am not perfect, I tried my best. I, in the end, was a good human.
Here's to becoming a good human, ~Vanessa
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